When I started running, the first mile nearly killed me.I couldn’t breathe, my whole body was screaming, and I needed days to recover. I couldn’t imagine running two miles. Slowly it got easier and I could go a little further without crying. As I grew stronger I was convinced that nothing could be harder than that first One Mile, but I was wrong.
I soon experienced what happens to every runner as well as anyone growing in any area of discipline: I stopped. I got sick, my kids got sick, we went out of town, or I just didn’t feel like doing it anymore. Days turned into weeks and my strava stayed silent. The gap between where I used to be and where I was grew wider every day. Five little words taunted me in my head: All Your Progress Is Gone.
Momentum disappeared.
Muscles weakened.
New Year’s goals were crossed out.
Pride was crushed.
I seriously thought about giving up.
Then one morning (earlier this week for me) I heaved myself out of bed, dug out the shoes and socks that matched close enough for 5:30am, stretched forever because I knew the awful truth: This was going to hurt.
Because the hardest mile you’ll ever run isn’t your first mile: it’s your first mile back.
Everybody always talks about how hard it is to get started. Few talk about how hard it is to start over. Starting over takes double the mental and emotional energy. Because you know where you used to be. You’ve been here before. You know how far you’ve fallen. You know what hitting reset means. You know the work it’s going to take just to claw halfway back to where you used to be.
In our walk with Christ it’s tempting to stay down when we fall. Whether it’s dealing with sin, neglecting spiritual disciplines like gathering with your church or studying God’s word, or just adoring something else more than Christ, as the days go by it’s easier to just stay stopped.
We fear humiliation, knowing what people will think.
We know the cost that transformation requires.
We fear we’ll just fail again so what’s the point. Does it even matter?
It infinitely matters.
Whatever discipline you’ve paused in recent days, months, or even years, it’s time to re-engage.
Here are three truths that encourage me starting over, especially starting that first mile back with Christ.
- You’re not really starting over: If you belong to Christ, he has not stopped working on you. Your desire to get back running a good race is evident that he’s faithful to you. He works in all seasons good and bad. He works everything together for the good of those who love him and are called. He calls us to repent from sin and gives us a greater awe of the cross that paid our debt. The Christian life is full of repentance; this is sanctification.
- Who you are comes before what you do: I am a daughter of God, bought by the blood of Christ and sealed with the holy spirit. Christ brought me from death to life. I am all these things before he brings any fruit from my life. I practice spiritual disciplines from my status as an adopted child of God. I hate my sin because I’m not a slave to it anymore; Christ is my master. I am not saved because I do good works, but I work because I am saved. The order matters and changes the way I look at starting over.
- Getting back on the rails is natural for the believer: The Lord is all for you living for his glory, bearing fruit for his name, and abiding in him. Your new nature isn’t satisfied unless we’re living this way. Christ has laid down good works in advance for us to walk in. The enemy tempts us down a supposedly easier, comfortable path, but it leads to pain and destruction. Christ’s sheep want to follow his voice and stay near him. It’s always surprising to me when I draw close to Christ again how it’s the thing I most long to do.
Start over by beholding Christ. If you’ve been distant from the Lord lately, come back to him by beholding Him in the Word and coming to him in prayer. Throw off the sin and weight that so easily entangles and get back in the race. He’ll be with you the first mile back and every mile after.
