I’ve been a minister’s wife for 14 years, and people sometimes ask me if it feels like I live in a fishbowl. Truthfully, nothing made me understand the fishbowl experience quite like quarantine. All day every day three little pairs of eyes follow me around. My daughter knows how many cookies I’ve eaten. My son knows how much screen time I’ve logged. My toddler somehow hears alllllll the words I think when she has a potty accident.
Although I homeschooled pre-pandemic, I’m used to my kids having daily interactions with LOTS of other people: neighbors, friends, church members, coaches, family, teammates and more. Since the pandemic, however, nearly all their human contact is with David and me.
All day long I swim around in that glass bowl while they watch. And learn. And remember. And copy.
Nearly every mom understands this fish bowl life right now. Our children are getting a divinely orchestrated view of us in our own homes day after day. There’s nothing and no one to hide behind. They’re not just watching what we do. They’re taking in who we are.
Before the Guilt-Wave knocks us all belly-up in the bowl, consider King David’s final prayer over his son, Solomon. In fact scripture records only one specific prayer David prayed for Solomon. At the end of his life, King David asks God to give his son one thing.
If you could ask God one thing for your children, what would it be?
Wisdom?
Wealth?
Security?
Happiness?
King David asks for none of these.
In 1 Chronicles 29:19 David prays, “Grant to Solomon my son a whole heart that he may keep your commandments, your testimonies, and your statutes, performing all, and that he may build the palace for which I have made provision.”
David asks God to give his son a whole heart — the same heart God has given to him. I can’t think of any better prayer for moms in this season, for our children and for ourselves.
Four beautiful things emerge from this prayer:
- A whole heart comes from God. David acknowledges the only way Solomon will have a whole heart for God is if God gives it to him. The same is true for moms. Ask God to give you a whole heart for Christ. Your children do not need a behavior-modified mommy. They need a whole-hearted mommy. Ash him for it.
. - A whole heart comes before commandment-keeping. Good behavior will lead our children to hell apart from Christ. As we teach them to follow rules, honor and obey us, we set before them Jesus. We show them our own need for Christ and our enjoyment of Him. We want their hearts wholly devoted to the Lord. From this changed heart springs obedience that pleases the Lord.
. - A whole heart leads to obedience. A whole-hearted mom will keep God’s word and repent of sin. Her heart will rest more in the work of Christ and less in her own need to control and perform. A whole heart for Christ leads to idol-crushing, mediocrity-despising behavior.
. - A whole heart leads to building up the kingdom of God. King David prays “That [Solomon] may build the palace for which I’ve made provision.” The whole-hearted mom will make spiritual provision for her children that will outlast her lifetime. The whole-hearted child will take that provision and build up the body of Christ.
Although Solomon started out strong in the Lord, obedient to God’s word, and faithful to build the temple, he did not end well. 1 Kings 11:4 tells us, “For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.”
Solomon had a faithful father, yet his own heart turned from the Lord. Your child’s spiritual condition might have nothing to do with your own heart for God. Don’t give up praying— he is able to save from far away.
I long for my three to be saved, but I can’t save them. All my striving and all my efforts will not earn their peace with God. All the biblical knowledge I impart to them won’t atone for one of their sins. They need a heart made whole by the blood of Christ.
How can we rest knowing we are watched every day? We have a whole heart for Christ. There is profound peace in knowing he is sovereign. He is able to glorify himself even in our failures.
May every eye watching you in this season see your heart for the Lord. Ask God to grant your children a whole heart for Him no matter the cost. And until that prayer is answered, keep your own heart wholly devoted to the Lord, and in the power and rest of Christ, just keep swimming.