My favorite me-things include: Sunday afternoon naps, sitting in my good friend’s living room floor talking, a good book, a spoonful of peanut butter, the feeling right after I get a haircut. The world calls these things Self Care. Self Care might mean any number of good things: eating better, exercising, getting more sleep, asking for help, time with friends, getting a pedicure, eating chocolate (yes, please). It’s basically anything you do for yourself that betters you.
The problem comes when the world tries to apply Self Care as the answer to everything. I see a recurring message that the remedy to your emptiness, loneliness, and exhaustion is to practice more Self Care. Maybe some of these instaquotes sound familiar:
“Take care of yourself first.”
“love yourself first and everything falls into place.”
It’s not bad to do things that are generally good for your well being, but the problem is that ultimately, you’re not a very good care-er, not even for yourself.
One self-care quote says:
“You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
We absolutely can’t pour from an empty cup, but who exactly is going to fill our cup for us? Our cups do need to be filled. Our selves are crying out to be cared for! It’s also true that Care cannot be found “out there” doing for everyone else. Not in a husband. Not in friendships. Not in work. Not in children. But instead of holding our cups up to Jesus and begging Him for relief, the world’s answer is to hold your cup out to yourself. They surmise the greatest love you could ever know is the love of self. Give to yourself, know yourself, treat yourself, worship yourself because your love is the only one that will sustain you in the end, right?
Not even to the end of this sentence.
What our weary exhausted souls ache for is not in fact more self care, but more cross care.
God saw you in your complete sin-sick depravity and loved you with a love this world could never manufacture. He sent his son who knew no sin to absorb the unfathomable wrath of God in your place. What vast and spectacular love is this? You couldn’t love yourself like this! His love is constant, powerful, unchanging, able to endure the torture of calvary on your behalf. There is no care like the care of the cross. There is no love that reaches as far. His perfect love that you could not earn and did not deserve found you, called you, raised you from death to life if you are in Christ Jesus.
The true care your soul craves is found in the depths of the gospel. The next time you’re encouraged to practice Self Care, sure go ahead and take a nap, wash your hair, or hit the gym. But know that the real source of your care is the cross alone. Hold your cup out to him to be filled. Run to him exactly as you are with whatever you carry. He is able to hide you in the cross, remove your sin as far as the east is from the west, free you from self-worship, and enable you to carry your own cross with joy as his daughter. That is the deepest truest form of care there is. Run to him and experience the depths of cross-care your soul is aching for.