They lure us in with an upbeat, energizing “call to worship” song. Just as we’re settling in, the worship leader forces us to do the most awkward part of Sunday morning: “Turn and greet your neighbor.”
I’ve been going to church since nine months before I was born, yet I’m always caught off guard by the “greet your neighbor” time. I always come in with the handshake when my neighbor goes in for the hug, forget someone’s name I’ve already met 15 times, say the wrong name, “Just sneezed,” or wave at someone who was not actually waving at me.
I’ve also knocked over coffee — my own and other people’s. I’ve been told to “speak up” when introducing myself, only to find the worship leader stops the greeting time, so I end up shouting my name across a quiet room.
All these things have happened to me. I cannot over-stress how awkward this time typically is for me, the pastor’s wife.
Yet I also cannot over-stress how this forced greeting time is necessary and wonderful in the body of Christ and a vital part of your Sunday morning worship experience. I’m talking to you, fellow introvert. Here are six reasons why you do not want to miss this Sunday’s installment of “Turn and Greet You Neighbor.”
- Real relationships are forged one awkward encounter at a time. There is probably not a single meaningful relationship in your adult life that didn’t start somewhere at the surface. A quick awkward introduction on Sunday could lead you to find a deep and meaningful friendship.
- You’re not as awkward as you think: The blessing and curse of an introvert is that we have serious self-awareness. This leads us to overanalyze our social awkwardness and exaggerate our flaws. It really is worse in your own mind.
- Your awkwardness is a blessing: If #2 doesn’t apply to you and you really are that awkward, be encouraged. The people around you don’t need another plastic smile and artificial greeting. They need to see you making a genuine effort to be friendly. Your clumsiness or small-talk deficiencies may actually set someone else at ease and make them think “I’m exactly like that too.”
- People are profoundly lonely: All around you every Sunday are hurting, lonely broken people. A pat on the back, awkward side hug, or handshake may be the only physical human contact they have all week. Your smile and attempts at connection mean more than you realize.
- Isolation has no place in the body of Christ: Believe me, I understand the temptation to come to church, sit in the back alone, and rush to the parking lot by the end of the benediction. That’s not church. You can do that at home watching a sermon online. I’m not saying you have to be “Betty Bubbly” but even the smallest encounters with others break both you and them out of isolation.
- Prepare before and after: I am a card-carrying introvert. That means I have to emotionally, physically, and spiritually prepare for Sunday morning crowds. I have to get a good night’s sleep and pray in the car on the drive to church. I ask God to give me one or two truly meaningful opportunities of connection that he has prepared in advance for me. Even if it’s small talk, Even if it’s me looking ridiculous. Then I plan my down time after church. This way I can pour myself out in the morning and then rest in the Lord that afternoon.
Be intentional about the next “Turn and Greet Your Neighbor” time at church. Those little awkward encounters with others grow the church, bless other people, and connect you in big and small ways to your church home.